hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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