I hate all girls vehemently.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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