Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize