absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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