That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
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And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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