You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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