i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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