Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You pole danced in your parka.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize