is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize