all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize