dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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