I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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