I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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