she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
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I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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