cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize