we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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