Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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