ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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