went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize