It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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