I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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