I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize