so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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