dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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