it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize