I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize