Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize