for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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