You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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