is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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