You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
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Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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