When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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