Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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