Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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