dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
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i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
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You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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