At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
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White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
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How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize