Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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