hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
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