I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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