YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I believe in your delicious
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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