your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
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You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
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It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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