Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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