she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he was CRYING into my vagina
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Randomize