did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize