ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i would punch a child for taco bell
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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