Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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