Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
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ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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