But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize