I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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