I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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